The Valiant Man's Downfall

Some may think jealousy, but I say anger.
It is now my downfall.

I said before that my anger is affecting my relationship with my husband, but that's not the whole truth. The whole truth is that my anger is much more pervasive. It reaches every corner of my life. I am angry at every little thing that does not meet my expectations. I lose what little patience I have left at the first sign of trouble. I teach, so patience is a huge part of my work life. I don't have the luxury of losing anything in class or in my communications with parents, administrators, or even other teachers.

I was so happy. So happy. Things seemed to be going really, really well between my husband and me. There were no major skirmishes and we were getting on together very, very well. But now...

I had a really harsh period last cycle--everything was accentuated and more severe, especially my emotions and my ability to handle situations in a calm and rational manner. Things seemed a little better after that ended, but they're still very different, all this rage and impatience. I don't know how else to explain it except for realizing that the scope of my husband's struggle is much farther reaching than I had suspected and won't be solved with a kind word and a smile.

I'm trying to change some things to have a more positive influence on him, to lead by example, hopefully leading him back to Christ, but all of this rage and pain is getting in the way. I can't show Christian love with these obstacles in my path.

Pray for me, whether or not you're the praying kind.